


Stage Two

by insominia



Series: Slow Burning Adventures in Mutual Pining between a Railroad Loyalist and a Brotherhood Synth [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 22:46:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15982103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insominia/pseuds/insominia
Summary: Danse gets a lung full of pollen, but it's ok, it probably wasn't that much...





	1. Chapter 1

Paladin Danse had taken an immediate shine to the man who had stepped into the Cambridge Police Station courtyard and gunned down the ferals like it was nothing. Scribe Haylen noticed it when Danse did a double take as the man stepped into range. She had never seen him hesitate or allow himself to be distracted before, especially when the ferals were already clawing at him. Knight Rhys saw it when Danse headed off to the Arcjet facility with the stranger with nothing to go on but his display in the courtyard. The senior officers aboard the Prydwen knew it when they received Danse's intent to sponsor the new recruit, a vault dweller by the name of Nate. Danse's comrades in the Brotherhood saw it when he brought Nate aboard the mighty airship, there was no mistaking _that_ look. Even Nate's dog had noticed it. Everyone knew it, except of course Danse and Nate themselves. Danse because he was far too professional to admit such feelings to himself, let alone his subordinate. And Nate was just comfortably oblivious. Everyone else was just waiting for the shoe to drop. It did of course, just not in the way anyone would have expected had they ever heard of the events.

It might have been a warehouse once. Maybe a greenhouse? Whatever it had been it was definitely abandoned now. Nate examined the fresh vegetables that still grew in their planters, while Danse checked the perimeter, making sure they wouldn't be surprised by any one of the friendly locals the Commonwealth housed. When he entered the structure he found Nate pressing his weight against a door, trying to make it give.

"Found something?" he asked.

Nate peered through the fractured panes, "there're some planters in there, can't tell what they are though. Might be worth a look if I can get the door." He knelt, withdrawing a bobby pin from his pocket.

Danse chuckled as he rolled his eyes, "you don't have to unlock every door in the Commonwealth you know?"

"Sure I do," Nate grinned as the lock clicked and the door swung open. He was still chuckling as he stepped in, not seeing that the door had knocked against a planter and disturbed its occupants. Danse had noticed, and with reflexes that would put a stingwing to shame, he grabbed Nate, harshly pulling him back from the doorway as whatever it was exploded with a quiet puff. Nate was clear, but Danse lost his balance from the effort, taking a step forward too close for comfort near the remaining spores of whatever the plant had been.

"What was that?" Nate asked, pulling Danse back and checking him over.

Danse shrugged, he'd expected an explosion of some kind, maybe a trip wire, not a dead plant disintegrate into nothing. He felt fine, albeit a bit embarrassed that he had reacted so quickly for so little threat. "No idea," he glanced over his shoulder, where a fine yellow mist hung where he had been just a moment ago. It didn't look particularly healthy, "you probably shouldn't go in there." Nate nodded his agreement, the planters suddenly seemed less interesting if it meant breathing in potentially toxic spores and so they headed back out, resuming their exploratory trek.

They hadn't gone far when Nate tapped his pip-boy and looked up at the sky, "sunset soon...don't think we'll make the Alley before dark...Oberland is just- _Jesus, Danse_!" he cried out when he glanced back at his partner.

Danse visibly jumped at the accusation, "what?"

"Are you ok?" Nate hissed. Danse's eyes were so dilated his iris' were barely visible and sweat was pouring off him in rivulets.

"Fine, why?"

"Why? Really? You look like you've taken every chem under the sun!"

Danse frowned and wiped his brow as best he could with a heavily armoured arm. His frown deepened when it came back streaming with sweat, "but I feel fine," he said, uncertainly this time.

"C'mon," Nate said, turning him around, Oberland's just up that ridge."

Oberland Station was one of the Minutemen's largest settlements. Or at least it would be. Danse and Nate had planted what felt like a hundred mutfruit saplings in rows and columns, padding the crop out with corn and carrots for good measure, now they just had to wait for people to want to come and tend them. The workers' shacks stood empty, waiting for someone to answer the incessant recruitment beacon. It meant that at least when Nate managed to get Danse there, there was somewhere for him to rest. It was a short walk, but in that time Danse was fast succumbing to whatever it was he had breathed in. He struggled to keep up with Nate, even though he wasn't moving all that fast.

"It's ok," Nate assured him as they rocked up to one of the shacks. But by now Danse was positively feverish. Nate released the valve on his companion's power armour and Danse fell heavily against him. Nate was more than capable of supporting Danse's weight but he staggered against the sudden fall. Danse's jumpsuit was soaked through, yet despite his obvious sweating his teeth chattered as though he were freezing and he slumped more than walked into the shack, leaning on Nate for support.

Nate helped him lie on one of the beds and gave him a once-over with his eyes, trying to ignore the concern that rose in him as Danse let out a pained groan once he was lying down. "Ok, stay here, I'll be right back," Nate said, hurriedly, but Danse grabbed his arm as he turned.

"Stay," he pleaded.

Nate hesitated. He hadn't seen Danse like this before, it was surely just a fever, but...it had come on so quickly. "I'm coming back," he breathed, "I'm coming right back." Danse was squeezing his arm so tight it was painful, but gently Nate prised him off, "I'll be right back," he said, trying to sound reassuring.

Nate hurried from the shack, jogging briskly across the field to where the two original inhabitants bunked. They had seen Nate arrive and they couldn't have missed how he had had to brace Danse to get him indoors, but the extent of their helpfulness extended to putting out a couple of bottles of purified water.

"Is your radio working?" Nate asked, quickly, "I need you to radio the Castle, tell them to get the doc on standby, I'm gonna need to talk to him."

"Sure," one of them shrugged, but the other seemed to have a bit more interest and rose to do it.

"Hey...we don't have much in the way of supplies but I can see what we've got, General?"

"Thanks!" Nate called back, already hurrying to the shack.

Danse hadn't moved from the bed, shivering slightly, his body trembling and the sheets already damp with his sweat. Nate took a deep breath and managed to get him to sip some water at least. "Danse?" he asked, "I need you to tell me how you're feeling so I can give the doctor your symptoms."

If Danse heard him he gave no sign of it.

"Paladin Danse! Report!"

That got his attention, as Nate had known it would. His eyes snapped open and he stared at the ceiling, Nate could see him trying to control himself, "temperature, feverish, sweating, shivering, skin hurts..."

"Your skin hurts?" Nate asked.

Danse fidgeted against the bed uncomfortably, "suit...too tight."

Not surprising, Nate thought, the material looked like it didn't handle being wet very well. Nate leaned over to check Danse's temperature, keeping the fact that his skin was neither particularly hot or cold to himself. Next, he took his pulse, which was positively racing. Danse moaned when Nate took his hand away, but Nate barely noticed.

"I'm just going to talk to the doctor, ok?" he said, already rising to leave. But Danse's eyes were closed tight and he was already fighting the next wave of whatever it was. Nate jogged back to the station, the doctor helpfully waiting on the other end of the radio. Nate was almost panicking as he started reeling off the symptoms but the doctor was so clinical, so professional, he calmed right down.

"Well general, if you're lucky it's just an allergy thing..."

"And if I'm not?"

The doctor seemed to sigh, "well...there's this pollen. It hits in three stages and I'm sorry General, but it sounds like your friend is in stage one."

"Alright, so what's stage two?"

Ten minutes later the doctor had finished his explanation. Nate could barely breathe as he choked out, "and stage 3?"

Seven minutes after that Nate was standing in the radio shack doorway, holding on to the frame so tightly his fingertips blanched white. This...this was not how he imagined his day going. In fact, of all the things the wasteland had thrown at him since he had emerged from the vault he had to admit this was one of the most bizarre, and possibly the worst.

One of the settlers came forwards with some towels, a handful of stimpaks, more water and was that an antibiotic? Nate barely registered it.

"Hey general...you ok?"

Nate managed a mute nod, taking the supplies without a word. He slipped into the shack where Danse lay, he was no longer shaking at all, if that was a positive. Nate stepped up and started dabbing at his skin, wiping away the sweat. Danse's eyes remained closed, shut so tight Nate could practically see him straining against the pollen. Nate's hand stopped short of taking his pulse again, there was no need, he could see it beating in his throat. Danse was still sweating and Nate offered a quick prayer that it was allergies. He injected the antibiotic on the off chance and a stimpak for good measure, but Danse didn't seem to respond. He was stable at least.

Nate took a moment to step outside and breathe in the fresh air, already stifled by the atmosphere within the shack. The night was falling and with it came a chill in the air. Before the war the temperature wouldn't drop for another few months yet, Nate mused, allowing his mind to wander. A breathy groan from inside the shack brought him back to the moment, and he leaned his forehead against a wooden beam.

Stage Two.

He thought about leaving it. Danse hadn't breathed that much in, maybe he'd be ok? What's the worst that could happen? Well, the doctor had been quite clear on that point. If Danse's heart rate wasn't brought down it would race itself into a cardiac arrest. Stage 3. The part where Nate radioed the Prydwen and asked for a burial detail.

Another groan.

Nate batted his forehead against the wood, but there was no other choice. His hand paused on the door handle as he sent a brief prayer back to the vault near Sanctuary Hills, " _don't hate me, Nora_."

Inside the shack, Danse had rolled onto his side facing the wall, away from Nate. He could see him convulse involuntarily as though he were fighting against everything his body was crying out for. Nate drew a ragged breath, he was not going to lose Danse because he couldn't leave a locked door be.

"Danse?" he called, the hint of a tremor creeping into his voice. He moved over to the bed and sat beside him, his hand resting on Danse's hip to calm his movements.

"Go away," Danse grunted, his voice strained, "I don't...I don't want you to see me like this."

Nate cupped his face and rolled him onto his back, trying not to worry at how wild he looked, how unlike Danse he appeared and tried to assure him. "It's ok, really. It's ok. This isn't you...and this isn't me. But we need to get your heart rate down and we need to do it slowly, ok?"

Danse gave no indication that he'd heard beyond the ghost of a frown passing over his features. Nate pulled Danse up so that he was sitting in the bed and he started releasing the clasps and unzipping zips on the jumpsuit with trembling fingers. Danse caught his hand as he went to peel the suit from him, but Nate gave a warm smile, "it's ok," he whispered, "it's fine," and when Danse's hold slackened he resumed work in removing the jumpsuit. Danse hissed as the cool air met his skin and he leaned into Nate, pressing against him and moaning softly at the contact.

Nate hadn't considered going to bed with Danse, or anyone in the wasteland for that matter, but the sound of his gasps so close to his hear as Danse leaned against him might have been one of the sexiest things he'd ever heard and he felt warmth immediately pooling in the put of his stomach.

Sorry, Nora.

He felt very overdressed beside Danse, but he had no need to remove his own clothing surely? But it was strange to be fully clothed beside an almost stripped Danse. He resolved to remove his shirt at least, but as soon as the cloth fell away Danse was at his chest, running his hands all over it. Nate let himself lean back as Danse kissed his way across his chest, nipping and licking at points before he lifted his face and claimed Nate's lips. Nate had been trying to put thoughts of his wife far away, but with Danse's mouth on his, his hands grasping at Nate's hair, it was easier to forget Nora.

Danse's jumpsuit was still folded to his waist, but Nate was aware of his other hand, trying to grasp himself and failing through the tightness of the suit. With a frustrated, strangled cry Danse tore at the suit until it came away, falling to the floor discarded. His erection sprung free and his hand came around it immediately as he returned his attention to Nate's mouth, his other hand tracing lower until he was grasping Nate's ass through his jeans.

Nate let him explore, his own fingers tracing patterns across Danse's skin. He could feel him fucking himself into his hand and if the doctor hadn't already told her that wouldn't work, his desperate, ragged breathing would have.

"Let me," Nate whispered, pushing him back down onto the mattress, rolling to straddle his thighs to keep him there. Danse's hands grabbed at Nate's hips trying to pull him closer, " _need...need you_." He gasped out and this time Nate groaned, even though he knew it was just the pollen talking. Nate took Danse in his hand, working the length lazily, but Danse bucked his hips trying to get more friction.

"Ssh," Nate whispered, "slow remember?" Danse relaxed into the mattress as Nate resumed his motions, marveling at how soft and strong Danse was in his hand. He thought he had left this kind of thing behind in his army days when he decided to settle down with Nora and raise a family instead of these stolen, secret moments with a comrade and one time his C.O. But having Danse under him like this, reminded him of all that and more, he was aching to lean down and taste Danse, let Danse taste him, but that's not what this was. This was practical. Danse might even be straight for all Nate knew. But that didn't stop Nate straining uncomfortably in his jeans, though for now, he resisted the urge to touch himself, focusing all his effort on Danse.

_Danse._

There was no doubt the Paladin was attractive, now that Nate allowed himself to appreciate it. Gorgeous even. And the way he leaned into Nate's ministrations, the way he groaned under his breath as though trying to keep himself quiet was making Nate's erection too uncomfortable to ignore.

This time he didn't remember to apologise to Nora as he shifted his position and before he had even realised he was doing it, took Danse in his mouth. They both groaned as Danse's fingers started trailing into Nate's hair, holding him there as Nate licked him in delicious circles. Without meaning to Nate's hand moved downwards, letting loose his own zip and reaching in to touch himself. Danse started rocking his hips, pushing himself deeper into Nate's mouth but obviously trying to hold himself back, remembering what Nate had said about going slow. If he let go he was in danger of fucking himself senseless into Nate's mouth. For what that was worth, Nate was close to losing control without the pollen, his hand moving swiftly over his cock while he swirled his tongue around Danse, allowing his teeth to lightly graze his shaft.

He couldn't have slowed if he'd wanted to and he could feel his climax build around him. Danse came first, letting loose his load into Nate's throat with a strangled yell which was enough to send Nate over the edge, erupting in his hand and sending tendrils of hot cum over Danse's legs.

Nate released Danse with a loud 'pop' and rested his head on Danse's hips, hearing their breath slowing together. Dimly Nate felt Danse's heartbeat level out and just about remembered why they were doing this in the first place. The afterglow of warmth was suddenly drained from Nate, replaced with a rush of shame. He'd lost control, he'd touched himself, he'd come with a vengeance with Danse's cock on his lips. Was the Paladin even aware of what they'd done or would he forget, dismissing the fragmented memories as a particularly vivid fever dream?

Gently Nate disentangled himself from Danse. Danse at least looked more relaxed than Nate had ever seen him, exhausted and sated in a way that reminded Nate of Hancock when he was particularly high. "Stay," Danse entreated, in a voice so different to the one of earlier Nate wasn't sure he wanted to consider what that meant.

"Rest," he whispered, soothingly, tracing his hand across Danse's forehead, "you should be ok now."

"Stay," Danser said again and with a sigh, Nate obliged. He remained beside him, stroking his face.

At least until he fell asleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hancock stretched his arms out overhead, feeling the kinks in his shoulders and back shift gloriously. He was sitting on a jetty, his legs dangling over the water, hanging freely. Staring out over the sparkling blue expanse it was easy to forget the problems of the world, even if that sparkling blue expanse was somewhat irradiated. He could picture a time before the bombs fell and it was as beautiful as it was now. Sitting here, looking out on an almost unspoiled sea, the waves shining in the sun, a light breeze blowing into the shade of the lighthouse, Hancock didn't want so much as a cigarette lest it somehow spoil the clarity of the moment.

"Fucking stupid ass piece of shit!" Nate's inelegant screams came from somewhere near the house, interrupting the ghoul's reverie. The shouts were followed by hurried, angry clanging as Nate wrestled with the turret he'd been building, with a hammer. Hancock sighed and used the railing to pull himself up. He shouldn't have been surprised; it was a clear day. On clear days the sea sparkled, the sky sang and in the distance, you could see the Prydwen.

It had been almost three weeks since he'd found Nate in the Third Rail, knocking back enough whiskey that even Charlie was worried. He'd known something was wrong before he even saw the drink - Nate never came to Goodneighbor without looking Hancock up first. It was more out of concern than anything else that he agreed to accompany him out there when Nate was sober enough to ask.

He couldn't be around people, that much was obvious. They'd bounced between settlements until Nate had dragged them up to the Northern coast, to a place he'd cleared but hadn't worked on yet. A place where there was no one to question just what was wrong, and there was clearly something wrong. After that, they'd ventured out just the once, to the Slog where Nate had stayed long enough to radio a Brotherhood Patrol and tell them he was done.

Hancock didn't like Nate's work with the Brotherhood, but even he frowned at the announcement. It was obvious he didn't really want to be done. Hancock was still none the wiser as to what was wrong. He knew that Nate was alternating between rage and despair and it got infinitely worse when the Prydwen was in sight.

Nate threw down the hammer and shouted, "you stupid, _stupid_ dickhead!" He wasn't talking to the turret anymore and Hancock recognised his time to intervene.

"Ok sunshine," he rasped, hoisting Nate from under his arms, lifting him away before he injured himself kicking his own turret. "Let's leave the nasty turret alone." He dragged him around the house and forced him to look over the sea, deliberately facing Nate away from the Prydwen.

As Hancock released him, Nate was wringing his hands and his frustrated yell echoed around them across the water. " _Stupid, stupid_..." he was muttering under his breath.

"Alright brother, you wanna tell me what the hell's going on or you just gonna go one on one with your own turrets?"

"I'm fine," Nate snapped.

"Sure you are, now what's going on?"

Nate dropped down onto the rough grass, looking over the short cliff edge at the water, "sorry, I guess I've not been much fun."

Hancock dropped down next to him and nudged him harshly with his shoulder, "hey now, you know I don't care about that..." he paused, a thought striking him, "those Brotherhood guys...they didn't make you do some shit you didn't want to, did they?"

"Hancock," Nate smiled warmly at him, "no it was nothing like that. I...I did something stupid, that's all." Hancock was still looking at him, so he added, "really really fucking stupid."

"You saying you did something stupid to the guy who got so high he burned his skin off?"

They laughed together and sank into an easy silence, while Hancock produced two cigarettes from his coat and lit them up, "you gonna be ok?" he asked, handing one over.

Nate hesitated as he took it, "you know what John, no. No, I don't think I will."

* * *

 

"Paladin?...Paladin?... _Paladin Danse_!"

Danse jerked out of his trance, dropping his hammer as he did so. Proctor Ingram was looking at him from over the top of her clipboard, "you ok there, Paladin?"  
Danse nodded mutely, but he didn't move. He'd come out to work on his power armour but instead had spent the time staring at the right leg, crouched beside it, without doing anything. Aware that Ingram was now staring at him, he gave up and headed back to his quarters.

"Sure, I'll just clean up your tools, don't worry about it!" Ingram called after him, but Danse didn't pause, right now he didn't really care if Ingram wrote him up for sloppiness.

Back in his quarters, Danse stared around the room trying to think of something to do with himself. He'd been at a loose end since he'd woken up in a shack at Oberland Station, without Nate. He didn't have any concrete recollection as to what had happened and he doubted he could trust what he could remember. He flushed, a frisson of heat going straight to his groin as a fragmented image of Nate, his lips wrapped around Danse while his hand worked himself, struck him. He shook his head as though that would be enough to shake it from him. He would have liked to have talked to Nate about it, find out what had happened but he had disappeared before that could happen. The settlers at Oberland weren't much help, they knew Danse had been taken ill somehow and Nate had left some time before the sunrise. He'd left water, breakfast and what remained of their vertibird grenades. No one had seen him since.

It wasn't unusual for Nate to attend his Minutemen commitments but he'd never disappeared like this and never so abruptly. Danse was worried, most of all he wanted to talk to him, that and though he didn't want to admit it, he missed him.

Danse was still standing there when a tentative knock interrupted him. "Sir," the Initiate standing there stood to attention, "Elder Maxson wants to see you and they're asking for you down in the airport."

Danse gave a curt nod and left immediately - the Elder wasn't to be kept waiting though their meeting would be relatively brief. Maxson was irritated but little more at the news a returning patrol had brought back of Nate's resignation. Danse, however, couldn't keep the shock from his face and found himself assaulting the elder with questions. _Is he alright? Which patrol? What did he say? Where is he?_

Maxson had simply narrowed his eyes and said, "as you were his sponsor I was hoping you could tell me what he was thinking?"

Danse opened his mouth to speak, but Maxson held up a hand to cut him off, "I don't know what's happened, Paladin and frankly I don't care to know. I don't have the men or the inclination to chase after him and change his mind. But you were his sponsor and he's proven an asset to the Brotherhood." He'd paused, "as of this moment consider yourself on leave, Paladin. You have five days to get back here. If he's with you we'll forget this conversation ever happened, if not I'll honour his resignation and this conversation still won't have happened. Am I clear?"

"Perfectly sir."

"Dismissed."

* * *

 

Danse had wasted no time in gathering some supplies together. He'd travel light, Nate wouldn't be too hard to track down, the Minutemen would know and if they didn't there were the handful of occasional companions Nate had insisted on surrounding himself with. He'd forgotten all about the message from the airport, so Danse simply thought it was particularly good luck when he disembarked there and was directed towards a waiting Preston Garvey.

Danse's first thought was that something must have happened to Nate for Garvey to come all this way to find him. It must have shown on his face for as Danse hurried over to him the first words out of Garvey's mouth were, "calm down, Paladin, he's ok."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be here," Danse growled.

Garvey conceded the point, "we got a call from Hancock. He's up with the general up at Kingsport Lighthouse. He's ok but apparently not doing so good...not since he split from you..." he paused, clearly waiting for Danse to volunteer some information. Danse remained silent and so the pause stretched out until Garvey caved, "anyway Hancock seems to think the two of you need to sort whatever it is out, or I don't think the General will ever to leave that lighthouse.

Danse nodded but Garvey hesitated, "do you need any help getting up there?"

Danse just shrugged, "we're not the Minutemen Garvey. The Brotherhood is an actual army with actual resources," he said, walking away. Garvey may have found him abrupt but as Danse flew overhead in a vertibird just a few minutes later, he had at least been truthful.

Danse didn't go straight to the lighthouse. Nate had disappeared so quickly Danse knew he wouldn't be at the Lighthouse if he landed the vertibird there directly. Instead, he set her down elsewhere and made the last leg of the journey on foot.

It was dawn when the lighthouse came into view, the rising sun bringing a warm glow to the commonwealth. Danse had been in such a hurry to leave he hadn't even considered sleeping or noticed his lack of. Now that he could see the lighthouse though, he didn't feel particularly tired.

He followed the path up to the house, carefully stepping over the trip wires lest he was cut down by friendly fire before he reached Nate. Hancock was leaning against the house, smoking a cigarette. He saw Danse approach but didn't move to greet him which suited the Paladin fine.

"He's up in the lighthouse," Hancock rasped, jerking a thumb towards the structure behind the house. "He's not been sleeping much," he added before Danse could question him further and turned to return indoors. Danse paused for a moment, considering whether or not to thank the ghoul, but he decided on not and headed over to start the long climb up to the beacon.

He'd been with Nate when they'd cleared this place. He remembered their mutual amusement at the cult using a glowing one as a light source. After the cult was moved on Nate had cleared the place, including the beacon, and set up some chairs there so they could enjoy the magnificent view. Danse found him in one of those very chairs dozing peacefully.

Danse dropped quietly into a chair beside him and looked out over the water, watching the rising sun set it aglow.

The sun was up and had been for some time before Nate stirred. Danse had let him sleep, occasionally stealing glances at him, allowing himself to be reassured that he had found him without much trouble.  
He shifted in the chair and opened his eyes, beaming at the sight of him, still hazy from dreaming. Then the burden of reality caught up with him and Danse saw his smile falter, replaced with immediate terror. Nate stared at him for a moment before launching himself at the door, " _Hancock, you son of a bitch_!" he yelled. Then the fight went out of her and he dragged himself back to the chair, "hi," he said, awkwardly.

"Good morning."

A strained silence stretched between them. Nate didn't want to speak and Danse wasn't sure where to begin.

"Elder Maxson told me you'd resigned," Danse said eventually, deciding on something to say.

"I thought given the circumstances it would be best," he said, quietly.

"The circumstances?"

Nate sat back in the chair, "well I figured you wouldn't want to see me again and I thought I'd make it easy for you. They'd have kicked me out anyway if you'd told them what I did, so I saved both of us the trouble."

"What you did?"

Nate looked away quickly, unable to meet Danse's eye, "I took advantage of you, Danse," he said, quietly, "I can't even begin to apologise so I'm not even going to try. But I understand that you won't want to see me again, I'll stay out of the Brotherhood's way..." he broke off, "I know you must hate me but believe me that won't come close to how much I hate myself." Danse was silent for a long time. Things had slotted into place in his mind, he remembered now, dimly and hazy but it was there. Once again he pictured Nate, his half-lidded eyes looking up at him, only this time he remembered the scent of pollen coating the back of his throat.

_This isn't you and this isn't me_

_Need...need you..._

_Stay._

Danse shifted himself to the edge of the chair so he was looking directly at Nate, "I don't hate you, soldier," he said, finding it easier to talk to him in Brotherhood terms. "If I remember correctly I took a face full of pollen?"

He looked to Nate for confirmation and he nodded, mutely, still unable to meet his eye. He sighed, "I thought as much. It's not the first time the Brotherhood have encountered such a thing," he flushed, "nor was it the first time I'd been affected. I'm sorry you had to see me like that and even more sorry for what you had to do. But I'm also grateful that you saved my life."

Nate jumped to his feet, "grateful?! Danse, I- I enjoyed it! I completely took advantage of you!"

Danse rose with him, "I'll be honest, while I wouldn't choose to inhale pheromone spores again and while it wasn't what I'd imagined or planned, you shouldn't hate yourself," he hesitated, "I'd be lying if I said you took complete advantage of me. Even if the ends didn't justify the means, I assure you if an offer had been made under other circumstances I would have accepted."

Neither of them spoke. For a long time, the only sounds were the tide and the cawing of distant gulls. Nate broke the silence with an "oh...oh I didn't think...well I didn't...I mean..."

Danse butted in, unused to being the one who wasn't tripping over their tongue in these conversations, "I'm not expecting any other...offers and I'll do my best to stay away from hazardous flora, so please, can we just move on? I value your friendship, and you're an excellent soldier," he added quickly before he could be accused of being overly sentimental. Nate didn't say anything but he did smile and then, nod. Danse grinned, "Well I have four days to get you to the Prydwen before they accept your resignation os if there's anything you want me to help you with I suggest you put me to work. If not I'll rearrange those turrets, your placement is terrible..."

Nate followed him out of the beacon, he still felt bad, but he'd felt worse for abandoning Danse at the shack. At least if he was going to work through this guilt it might be better to do it with Danse beside him? Nate scowled as he followed the Paladin down, angry at himself that he was really just making excuses for wanting to be near Danse again.


End file.
